Gender and Sexuality: My sexuality was questioned

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My sexuality was questioned

Countless Questions

I am a girl
My hair is not neat
I wear denims
People say I am like a Tomboy
I wear liberal clothes
People often say that
I am not like a woman
My femininity was questioned

When I hang around with women
When I talk about women’s rights
Their freedom
Being single
People say that I am a lesbian
My sexuality was questioned

I take my own decisions
I stay alone
They suspect
My coping strategies
They insist
Say that I should find a man
My vitality was questioned

After a series of matching
All the planets in the horoscope
I was married
In the middle of the night
On a white robe on the bed
My virginity was questioned

When a cry of a baby
Had not been heard from my womb and home
They said that I am infertile
My fertility was questioned
Oh God can you tell the world
Can I clap with one hand?

Written by Shamila Daluwatte, Women’s Right Attorney and an Activist

Barsha Hamal
Barsha Hamal
United States

Many of us can familiarize ourselves with the subject matter of this poem.

Bohoma Stutiyi :)

Character Assassination has always been tagged along to women, due to the intensely competitive world of men dominated politics, patriarchal mindset and masculine culture.

Lalita Raman
Lalita Raman
Hong Kong

My sexuality was questioned

Well said. There are several countries even in thie day and age where Woman are not protected by laws against violence and abuse to them.

It is something we all need to continue to work on within our society, friends and community.

I thought this video summarized Women's Rights very well!

We shall continue to strive.

Nice poem

Thanks Shamila - I enjoyed reading your poem. :)

This is moving


This is wonderful! It is incredible how narrow the definitions for women are and how closely they are tied to sexuality. We must support each other in the expanding of these spaces. We should be able to define what it means to be woman. We should be able to decide if being a woman has anything to do with our individual sexuality.

I plead to women, if you see another woman acting in a way with which you may not agree, do not criticize. Instead, please silently commend her for having the courage to define her own path and violate someone else's norms.



mankind has always been questioning womens sexuality. ten minutes ago i've read some old news about Iranian women. they've been jailed just for wearing dresses or tight trousers or tshirts. they're not allowed to go out without veil, because "man" can be attracted from "a woman" and do "wrong things". as i've read a young man told that the goverment has taken their flirt chance by seperating men and women.

"I was married
In the middle of the night
On a white robe on the bed
My virginity was questioned "

In most countries, being virgin or being straight is much more important than being a good person. im my opinion, its not such a big deal to be a virgin or straight, if you cheat on people or harm them.

and at last, thank you for writing this meaningfull poem, i hope this will reach thousands of people , then they'll know what they're doing to the women!


this poem speaks for many women, it resonates with me. this just reminds me that different does not mean bad or evil.

South Africa

This is a very good poem as it highlights the experiences of all women.


Looking for extraordinary Women

IMW members,

I'm a Venezuelan filmmaker living in France (at the moment) , after I saw and got to know about IMW, immediately became a member.

At the moment I'm creating a project that its to promote and help understand differences.

It will be a collection of portraits (written by the person itself and picture) about extraordinary women for different backgrounds, culture, age and profession.

I will recollect the material and do a book and a video art .

If you think you can be a great example to other or feel you have a story to tell, please contact me, I will love it if you can be part of it.

Thank you,

Beatriz Ciliberto


Thank you

The first bit of your poem so described me, that I almost thought you read my mind. The other bits describe people I know. I always tell people that we are different and same. We are unique and yet part of society. But we are also very many times guilty of intolerance. It is a vice we must fight.



you have really transformed some deep feelings to words that explain what some cultures see woman who tries to be non different gender in her society.I appreciate the way in which you have pictured these facts.

Dear yasemin

Thank you for your remarks and wonderful comments. we know that body politics play a dominant role in the society, against woman's body. women should have right to decide It is our right to fight against such discriminations

United Arab Emirates

I cant agree more !

It is nice to bring up such topic. The poem is exactly about what MANY women around the world undergo.
Whay if we are not in a relation with a guy, we have our own style and we are dependent women it always means that we are lesbian.

And even if we are lesbian why do sociaties care about knowing what is our sexuality is ! ...

Lest spread around the world that there is no difference between humen :)


looking beyond the differences...

when ever our society is faced with an individual that is different or doesn't comply with the norms he/she becomes an outcast a subject to questions and debate,when will we learn to accept our differences ,whether they be of gender/religion/sexuality/colour/race/ and so many more...
when will we learn to accept and understand the value of the gift and not just get stuck up about its packaging?

Tags: مرحبا كيف الحال , i can actually relate to this poem. Great work Shamila.

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